Courting Kali: My Eight-Week Fling with the Goddess of Destruction

I lay in this stillness, waiting for her to come.
Sweat bottoms and underwear lowered to my hips,
I am exposed, vulnerable, and hungry.
My longing is not less than erotic,
because in ways that only she can deliver,
she will complete me. So I hope.
And so, I long for her coming.

Suddenly a flash of light and the portal opens;
right beneath me the table itself jumps
announcing her presence in trembling alarm.
Now the room is abuzz—“understated” is not her thing.
Next I know—what I want, what I need—she mounts me.
Her touch is ephemeral; for all my anticipation,
everything I feel is in my head; everything I need is in my gut.

My life (yours, too) rests on mortality:
the consistent—faithful!—dying of my own cells,
making mundane renewal—mundane life—possible.
But now some band of renegade cells,
cancerous prostate cells, have reneged on mortality.
Having chosen life everlasting—their choice imperils
my much more limited yet beloved life.

And so, here I am, courting Kali,
Hindu goddess of destruction and death.
Sure, by outward appearance it seems for these eight weeks
I’m getting zapped by intensity-modulated radiation
targeting my prostate bed and pelvic lymph nodes,
but these stakes are existential—far too personal
to settle for anything less than the goddess herself.

I see the bright flash of light, and I whisper,
“Welcome, Kali, sweet mother of chaos.”
I feel the table beneath me shift as she crouches,
and I nod my assent to her killing instinct.
The room fills with the buzz of her affection,
and I whisper sweet nothings into her ears
while her hands (all four of them) bring the death
I need for life.

October 17, 2025 – David R. Weiss

I’ve been chronicling my prostate cancer journey since my diagnosis in January 2025.
Find my first set of blogs (January-June 2025) in a pdf here: When Cancer Comes Calling: Innocence.
Find my second set of blogs (July-August 2025) in a pdf here: When Cancer Comes Calling: Awakening.
My third set (September 2025 and beyond) is under the theme “Soundings.” So far it includes:
#1 Self-Advocacy: Sorry—Not Sorry.
#2 ADT – Making Deals with the Devil
#3 Courting Kali, Goddess of Destruction

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David Weiss is a theologian, writer, poet and hymnist, “writing into the whirlwind” of contemporary challenges, joys, and sorrows around climate crisis, sexuality, justice, peace, and family. Reach him at drw59mn@gmail.com. Read more at www.davidrweiss.com where he blogs under the theme, “Full Frontal Faith: Erring on the Edge of Honest.” Support him in Writing into the Whirlwind atwww.patreon.com/fullfrontalfaith.