Bite Me: A Brief Tale of Oral Adventure
David R. Weiss – May 24, 2022
It was the sort of thing that I might’ve swooned over four-and-a-half decades ago. Winsome girl next door offers to introduce me to the joy of oral flecks—for free. Even at age 62 it piqued my curiosity, and I thought, “why not? Heck, maybe Margaret will be game, too …”
So that’s how I came to sample Bite® toothpaste, one of those new fangled chewable toothpaste bits that offers you healthy gleaming teeth … sans the plastic.
“Place one (1) bit in your mouth, bite down, brush with a wet toothbrush—twice a day every day.” Like I said, “bite me.”
Here’s my brief review.
Hmmmmmm. Well, intriguing. A little bit like crunching up a mint Life Savers® and then brushing your teeth with it. Lots of grit (“oral flecks,” get it?). How much do I chew? How fine do I try to grind it? When do I start brushing? How long? These gritty bits aren’t going anywhere! And, the all-important question when it comes to oral flecks: Do I spit or swallow? There are no instructions!
Okay, but is there any afterglow? Well, my mouth feels clean and … satisfied. Does that count? The grit easily rinses out. (Go ahead, color me timid: I chose to spit.) And my teeth feel very clean. It does NOT feel like I just ate candy. So that’s cool. And the minty taste is very subdued: fresh, but not overstated.
So, yeah, I could like me some oral flecks on a regular basis. Except.
Except it’s an investment. At $12/month (it looks like you can get the price down to around $8/month if you buy a 4-month supply at a time) these bits are at least twice the price of our already mildly pricey JĀSÖN® tooth gel. I don’t track how fast we go through a $6 tube, but I know they last the two of us at least two months each, so we’re currently paying about $3/month for greener-than-the-major-brands gel in a tube.
Of course, the point of zero-waste toothpaste is to be plastic-free, not cheap. To take one small step toward breaking our addiction to petroleum-based convenience. (Bite tooth bits come in a small glass jar with a metal lid, both more recyclable than plastic. And you can purchase refills in cardboard packaging.) But am I willing to more than double my teeth care costs (which are already more than double what they could be if I brushed with Colgate – gag!)… just to avoid plastic?
I’m not sold on Bite®, though. I’ll do some research. I already see Georganics® makes a similar tablet that you can get an 8-month supply for $30. Now we’re in the ballpark of our current budget. Of course, right now, I put a pea-sized bit of gel on my brush about five times a day (look, that’s wake-up, three meals, and bedtime—don’t judge me!). But I know it’s possible to brush with just a wet toothbrush in between to clean things up. And if I’m treating myself to oral flecks first thing in the morning and again at night, that might be just fine. 🙂
So, the search is on. Next question: can I interest Margaret in oral flecks, too. We’ll see!
* * *